The Five Love Languages For Married Couples

by Rev. Sophia Okunowo | May 22, 2021 | Couples

The concept of the five love languages is very popular. I have written about this topic before but it bears repetition. Sometimes, we think we know something until we hear it again and again.

We don’t fully understand a subject matter until we have taken time to think about it.

The topic of love languages in marriage is so important that the understanding of it will literally solve major issues of your marriage.

Every couple should take time out to ask themselves what their love languages are.

Love language by definition is just how you perceive love. It is the language spoken to you that makes you know that you are loved by that person.

For example, if the language you understand is English and someone is trying to communicate with you something important in Spanish, you will not understand nor respond as you ought because they are not speaking your language and you have not learnt that language.

The same thing happens in marriage. Love needs to be expressed for it to be appreciated. So if your wife or husband is speaking or communicating love to you in a language that is not what you speak or understand, you don’t feel their love.

There are basically 5 love languages. Studies have shown that you can have a combination of more than one love language.  For further study, you can read Gary Chapman.

They are

1. Physical touch
2. Acts of service
3. Words of affirmation
4. Quality time
5. Gifts

Let’s begin with:

1. Physical touch

This love language is spoken not only in words, thoughts but more so by touching. For a person whose love language is physical touch, there must always be contact. Your spouse feels special when you touch them. You put your hands around their shoulders when talking to them and they feel loved. A kiss early in the morning, or a hug each time you see them, makes them feel fulfilled. My husband loves it when I stroke the back of his head whenever he is driving and I constantly touch him when we are together.

When your spouse’s love language is physical touch, even when he/she is angry and you speak this language, they calm down. Such spouse respond to touch and body contact a lot.

This is also a pointer to what is to be avoided by anybody that is not your spouse. It is easy to fall in love with anybody speaking your love language to you.

So with this knowledge also comes the responsibility of avoiding persons who want to speak your love language to you other than your spouse.

2. Acts of service

This is your love language when you love things to be done for you. You love it when your spouse helps you do your personal stuffs and also do for you what you are supposed to do.

For example, when your spouse helps you do your chores, helps with the kids, wash the car, do laundry or pay to help someone else do it for you.

It shows that your spouse is thoughtful and concerned. He/ she has not left you all alone to sweat it out, slave away or figure how to get your work done.

Some spouse enjoy work. In fact they have extra energy for work. That is the reason some people who are not disciplined and have this love language often fall on love with the house helps, messengers and the likes.

If your spouse is not speaking this language, you have to let them know it makes you feel loved. Let them make arrangements to someone to help out at a fee.

Let me stop here today.

God bless your marriage.

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I learn to speak my partners love language.

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray for wisdom to speak the love language of your spouse

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Eph 5:25 ESVHusbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Speak your spouses’ love language

BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Eph 5