The Dangers of Sexual Sins in a Relationship or Marriage
The bible makes us understand that God created sex as a beautiful gift, meant for reproduction, intimacy, and bonding within the covenant of marriage. Furthermore, we know that our bodies are not our own; they belong to God and are temples of the Holy Spirit.
When we use our bodies in ways that dishonor Him, we grieve His Spirit. Over time, if we normalize sin, our hearts can grow hard, and the consequences are grave.
God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.Romans 1:28 (NIV)
If you’ve struggled with an addiction for years, it may feel impossible to stop, but Jesus, the Light of the world, can break even the strongest habit.
If you are a believer and find yourself trapped in sexual sin, the enemy will whisper, “It’s normal… everyone does it.” That’s a lie. Your new life in Christ is pure and righteous.
Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul (1 Peter 2:11, KJV).
No sexual sin is harmless. It wars against your soul, dulls your spiritual senses, and hinders intimacy with God.
Take a moment to ask honestly: Why do I indulge in sexual sins?
Boredom or idleness? Then fill your time with purposeful activities like Bible study, prayer, service, exercise, or learning new skills.
Pornography or sexual media? If you’re trying to break free from sexual sins, yet consume sexual content, you’re feeding the very habit you’re fighting. Jesus said, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off”. That means removing triggers without compromise.
Here are practical ways to be free from sexual sins
1. Run to Jesus first: Only He can cleanse, forgive, and give you the strength to walk in purity.
2. Replace bad habits: Read Scripture daily, join a prayer group, serve in your church. Idle hands and minds are the devil’s playground.
3. Remove triggers: Delete sexual content, unfollow tempting accounts, and get rid of romantic/pornographic books and media.
4. Confide in someone mature: Accountability is powerful.
5. Stay persistent in prayer: Victory is often a process. Keep leaning on Jesus daily.
If you are single, you need to guard your mind and eyes, use your single years to grow spiritually and in purpose, not to indulge lust, and above all, learn self-control. It’s the same discipline you’ll need in marriage.
And to the married, understand that sexual intimacy is God’s provision against sexual temptation. If you struggle with sexual sin in marriage, it may signal a deeper intimacy or communication gap. Address it together prayerfully. Also, protect your sexual bond by keeping your desire directed toward your spouse, not self-gratification.
There is a difference between guarding your heart and hardening it, but truth be told, many of us confuse the two. Especially as singles, after being let down too many times, we slowly start to shut the doors of our hearts. We start to believe the safest version of love is to not love at all. We say we are “protecting our peace,” but really, we are hiding behind emotional walls that God never asked us to build.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
When God says, “guard your heart,” He is not telling you to lock yourself away. He is inviting you to watch over what shapes you, what you absorb, what you dwell on, and who you allow to influence your soul. Guarding your heart is not about withdrawing from people or burying your feelings. It is about living wisely—with discernment, not with fear. Because everything flows from your heart: your decisions, your relationships, your self-worth, even your prayers. So, if the heart is that central, it makes sense to tend to it with care.
But sometimes, especially when you have loved deeply or been hurt silently, building walls feels safer. Walls protect you from disappointment. From rejection. From hoping again. But walls also block out healing. They keep out the people God may actually be sending. And the thing is, when you shut off one part of your heart to avoid getting hurt, other parts start to go quiet too. You may think you are just blocking out people or pain, but over time, you can start to feel distant from God too. Not because He left, but because your heart is no longer open. Numbness does not come with a filter—it dulls everything, even the voice of the One trying to heal you.
So how do you guard your heart the right way?
It starts with remembering who you are. You are not ordinary, and your heart is not something to be handled casually. You were bought at a high price — the blood of Jesus. That alone speaks of your worth. When you truly see your value, you stop handing out deep access to people who have only shown surface interest. Just because someone is available or attracted to you does not mean they are meant to carry your heart. That is not pride, it is wisdom. Guarding your heart means being careful with what is sacred, not shutting down, but choosing who truly deserves to come close.
Guarding your heart also looks like staying open with God. A guarded heart is not a disconnected one. It is a heart that remains soft in His presence—even if it feels vulnerable. It is crying when you are tired of waiting, journaling when you do not understand what He is doing, and worshipping even when your emotions feel like a mess. It is letting Him touch the places no one else sees. That is guarding with grace.
It also means slowing down. In a culture that rushes relationships and pressures people to define everything quickly, guarding your heart means giving things time to unfold. You are not in a hurry. When something is from God, it will not require you to lose your peace to keep it. You do not need to overshare, overthink, or overextend to keep someone interested. You are allowed to take your time.
Finally, guarding your heart means trusting God more than your fears. Let’s be real: sometimes, we build walls because we do not fully trust that God will protect us if we try again. But His love is not only for eternity. It is for now, too, and if He asks you to guard your heart, it is because He plans to fill it with purpose, joy, and, yes, even love. But He needs you to be whole enough to receive it.
So in conclusion, do not go cold. Just grow guarded in the right way. Not closed off, just careful. Not anxious, just wise. Stay soft, but with boundaries. Let discernment, not fear, lead you. Because fear shuts you in, but discernment keeps you open to the life and love God still has for you.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
We love the idea of “potential.”
He’s not there yet… but he could be.
She’s still finding herself… but she’s got fire.
But here’s the real question: Does he or she have direction?
Hear this clearly:
Potential doesn’t build a marriage. Direction does.
Are you considering someone?
Don’t just ask if they are gifted.
Ask: Are they going anywhere with it?
Purpose isn’t a vibe—it’s a vision. It’s waking up with a sense of assignment. It’s building something bigger than yourself.
You don’t need someone perfect, but you do need someone pursuing. Someone who’s submitted. Someone who’s becoming.
Marriage is more than “We look good together.”
It’s “Can we carry destiny together?”
Can we push each other toward God’s call on our lives?
Can we raise children in purpose?
Can we give sacrificially, serve selflessly, and still laugh while doing it?
If you’re already married, it’s easy to throw purpose out of the window (by the time you begin to change diapers and think about school fees). But the pursuit of purpose shouldn’t stop after the wedding—that’s in fact when it becomes real.
So, become intentional. Ask yourselves:
– What are we building together—besides bills and babies of course?
– Are we aligned spiritually, or just surviving practically?
– Do we challenge each other to grow or just tolerate each other’s comfort zones?
Don’t let your marriage become a museum of old dreams.
Make it a greenhouse—where vision keeps growing, where callings are watered, and where you both flourish side by side.
God never creates purpose in isolation.
He pairs people to partner, not just to cuddle. Remember He made a HELP MEET suitable for Adam.
So whether you’re waiting or already walking the journey, remember this:
The right partnership doesn’t distract you from purpose—it propels you into it.
Red Alert:
If your current relationship is taking you away from purpose, that person is not for you. Cut it off!
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Relationships demand more than fleeting emotion. They require something deeper, sturdier, and often uncomfortable, which is tolerance. It’s not flashy, and it rarely gets applauded. Yet, the quiet strength keeps relationships from crumbling under the weight of human imperfection.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2 (NIV),
That phrase, “bearing with one another,” holds within it the heart of tolerance. It doesn’t mean putting up with abuse or neglect. It means making room for the rough edges of another soul, edges God might still be shaping.
For the married, this is often tested in the daily rhythm of life. How your spouse leaves the kitchen after cooking, how they process stress, or even how they express affection may not align with your preferences. But tolerance says, “I choose grace. I choose to love you as you are today, not just as I hope you’ll be tomorrow.”
Singles aren’t exempt from this refining process. Whether it’s in friendships, dating, or family dynamics, there’s always an invitation to practice humility and gentleness. Culture often encourages quick exits when discomfort arises, but Scripture calls us to lean in instead.
“bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”Colossians 3:13 (ESV)
The root of tolerance is love laced with patience. It is recognizing that others are works in progress, just like you. It’s resisting the urge to reshape people into our image and allowing God to do His work in His time.
There is also the other side: allowing others to tolerate us. That means being aware of our own weaknesses and accepting grace when it’s given. That’s humbling. But it levels the ground in any relationship, keeping pride in check.
For the single person waiting for marriage, or the married person weathering seasons of frustration, here’s a truth worth holding onto: Tolerance isn’t settling, it’s sowing. You are planting seeds of mercy, humility, and steadfastness that mirror the very nature of Christ. It won’t always feel rewarding in the moment, but it will shape your heart and your relationships into something deeply resilient.
Some days, love feels like butterflies. Other days, it feels like a sacrifice. If you think godly love is just about how you feel, you’ll walk away the moment the feelings fade.
The truth is, love that lasts is not always powered by emotion; it’s powered by intention.
Feelings come and go. They rise and fall with mood, stress, seasons, and even hormones. But real love, the kind God talks about, is deeper than that. It shows up when it’s hard. It stays when it’s uncomfortable. It chooses even when it doesn’t feel like it.
1 Corinthians 13 doesn’t say love is a feeling. It says love is patient, kind, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. Those aren’t emotions. They’re decisions. Daily decisions.
You won’t always “feel” in love, and that’s okay. What matters is what you do in those moments. Do you still choose to honor? To forgive? To pray for them? To show up? That’s godly love.
You see, culture tells us to follow our hearts. But God says to guard it (Proverbs 4:23). Feelings are unstable in everything, especially in relationships.
Even Jesus didn’t feel like going to the cross. He prayed, “If it be possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26:39), but love made Him stay. Love made Him choose obedience. That’s what godly love looks like. It’s a decision to honor God even when it’s uncomfortable.
Commitment is the only virtue that will take you further than chemistry, so you won’t always wake up with butterflies. I encourage you to choose love, not just when it feels good, but when it reflects Christ.
